Thursday, 13 Dec 2018
Sport

23 (plus) facts on the growing world of sports television

Here are 23 more facts about the growing world of sports television:

1. The only undisputed thing about FS1's "Undisputed" is that it's definitely the two and a half hours of unassailable television.

2. To his credit, I sometimes use ESPN's "first shot" as a substitute for an enema.

3. Skip Bayless + Stephen A. Smith = Sodom and Gomorrah 2.0.

4. What does the future hold, 65-inch flat-panel displays or 6.4-inch smartphone screens? To cover my bet, I hold my TV Zenith 27 inches.

5. HBO said goodbye to boxing, about 10 years after the rest of the population.

6. From time to time, a coat has too many pockets and zippers. "Monday Night Football" has too many pockets and zippers.

7. Disappointed that my health care provider refuses to recognize Dick Vitale as a pre-existing condition.

8. If you have the choice between watching the Thriller 3 Thriller 3 thriller in the 18th round of the Red Sox-Dodgers or 18 random episodes of "The Sopranos", I play with Artie Bucco on Mookie Betts.

9. Memo to all NFL analysts: The big receivers are not "pointed from the ball". They simply leave their feet to catch the ball while it is in free fall.

10. I dreamed that I was on "Jeopardy!" And Bill Nye the Science Guy and Jeremy Schaap excluded him.

11. Has my man, Colin Cowherd, ever forgotten how many things he says contradict the previous ones?

(Column Intermission: I broke away from PBR in 2014, a bit amicable, and I did not want to be reluctant, so I was saddened to learn that MillerCoors, which now makes beer, was trying to put an end to this arrangement, but the legal dispute ended up saving Pabst and several other real beers, like my old favorite of Baltimore, National Bohemian – Natty Boh! – so that America stays safe for a few more seasons football, with me a Schlitz or Colt 45).

12. If ever I attend a "Monday Night Football" match and Booger McFarland blocks my sight, someone in Bristol pays for my ticket.

13. With the upward trend – people are actually watching other people play video games – I do not apologize more for my involvement in poker on TV.

14. My ranking in late night talk shows – 1. Stephen Colbert; 2. James Corden; 3. Conan O'Brien; 4. vacant; 5. (tie) Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.

15. Podcasts on games of chance available by 2020: a lot.

16. After Donald Trump finishes his work at the White House, he could do wonders for CBS's "NFL Today" or HGTV's "Design on a Dime."

17. I do not think golf has a lucrative future unless they pay me to see it.

18. Here's an idea for "Monday Night Football" next season: with four analysts in the kiosk – one for the first try, one for the second, one for the third and a member of the special teams for the fourth.

19. The NBA League Pass is a bargain at $ 249.99 per season, but it should include a weekly bag of Fritos and a pack of six from Yuengling.

20. If I watch only seven more hours, I will become the 12th Lifetime Platinum Player on the Pro Bowlers Tour. Thank you, Jason Belmonte!

21. Darren Rovell leaves ESPN for the network action. Thanks, Action Network!

22. Bill Walton reminds me of kale – I do not know if I should eat it or compost it.

23. This may seem questionable, but I have just changed cemetery plot to get a better WiFi signal.

Ask the Slouch

Q. I recently noticed that after touching a touchdown, a player points his index finger on the roof. Is there so-called someone on the roof? (Tom Priolo, San Antonio)

A. When I was playing professional football, of course, it was a while ago, my agent and my dog ​​were sitting on the roof.

Q. The NFL recently announced funding of $ 35 million to study, among other things, the cause of brain damage. According to you, what are the chances that the study concluded, "Football"? (AJ Carle, Oak Hill, Virginia)

A. If they start with the premise, "The soil can not cause a fumble", I am not optimistic.

The Q. Oakland (Mich.) University trains teachers in the use of hockey pucks in the case of an armed intruder. Will these always help if the intruder is a former goalkeeper? (Jim O & # 39; Brien; Racine, Wisconsin)

A. If the former goaltender is Michel Belhumeur, there should be no problem.

Q. As a fan of Raiders / 49ers, I started reading Friedrich Nietzsche. What do fans of R * dsk * ns read? (Tom Jessen, Applegate, Calif.)

A. John Kennedy Toole "A confederation of arms".

Q. I subscribed to New York State bi-weekly lotto with the same numbers for 33 years. Once, I won enough for a pizza. I guess I'm due every Wednesday or Saturday now. So, seeing that we have both had bad luck for over a quarter of a century, you want to buy my numbers? (Art Donahue, Trinity, Fla.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You too can enter the $ 1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash contest. Simply send an email to asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $ 1.25 in cash!

Couch Slouch

Norman Chad

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