Home » Health » Aisa (44) becomes a mother at a later age: ‘Because of my son I was born again, I became a different person’

Aisa (44) becomes a mother at a later age: ‘Because of my son I was born again, I became a different person’

“If I ever wanted kids, I thought adoption might be something.”

“I didn’t have fluttering ovaries or a ticking biological clock. Because I had endometriosis – which makes having a child not obvious – I had to take the pill and have an IUD inserted. When I was thirty-eight, I lived temporarily in Suriname.

My niece stayed there with me and I still remember her crawling into bed with me in the morning and putting her arms around me. “Come on Aunt Aisa, are we going to watch TV downstairs?” he suggested. ‘No, just lie with me for a while,’ I said. Immediately, it was there, the desire to have a child of my own.”

“Because I didn’t have a partner, I had to rely on a donor. A year later, back in the Netherlands, I had it checked to see if I was fertile at all. Whether my fallopian tubes were open and whether I had enough eggs. When this became well, the journey began.

It was spicy. I also had problems with it. I looked at pictures of potential donor babies. It made me doubt: do I really want this, this manufacturing? It felt like I had put together the perfect child. After 12 years I had my period again.

I was not like this all these years because of the double contraception. But now that I stopped taking the pill and my coil came out, the endometriosis came back in full force. She either got pregnant very quickly or entered early menopause, my doctor said.

I have to do it now, I decided. The seed has already been ordered. On July 11, 2019 I was at the clinic for the insemination. Two weeks later, at forty-one, I was pregnant with Ajani-George. Incredible, right on target! Apparently it really had to be there. The pregnancy went well. I took positive care of myself, and because of my age, I was under extra scrutiny. My only ailment was nausea.”

“Ajani-George was born after thirty-seven hours of labor. His APGAR score (the test that determines the general condition of a newborn: healthy children score between seven and ten, ed.) was three.

I had bleeding from my stomach; one of the foci of endometriosis burst and Ajani-George was starved of oxygen. It made me very anxious the first period. I called 911 maybe ten times in the first month we were home, I would panic if she was choking.

I was very careful. The first ten months we were really together because of corona. I saw this as a blessing in disguise. I could never have imagined that Ajani-George would have arrived there ten years ago. Because my son was born again, I became a different person.

I traded my job as a musical actress for an office job in arts education; it could not be combined with a baby. I really do everything for him, my child should not miss anything. Partly because I’m alone, I feel more responsible.

My life has become very different on the one hand, but on the other hand, it feels like it was always there. It’s so familiar. But I can still look at him in amazement. Jeez, you are so cute, I think. When he wakes up, he’s on it right away. In addition, he is so sweet and understanding. I have never experienced so much happiness, love and joy in my life. Now I am forty four and I would like to have a child…

This triptych story is in Flair 33-2023. You can read more of these types of stories in Flair Weekly.

Hester ZitvastIris Templar

Leave a Comment