It all starts with a trip to Mexico.
In 2015, months after filming her latest video, Hands To Myself, Selena Gomez is on vacation. His friends are drinking piña coladas and having fun on the beach, and he’s in his room watching movie after movie until he gets to the documentary about Madonna’s life, Truth or Dare.
The story of his fame followed on the screen shook him to the core, but even then Gomez himself did not understand why. All he remembers is running to his friends and yelling, “Man, you have to watch this.”
It turns out that one of them knows the director of the film, Alec Keshishian, and weeks later, Selena and her team discuss the possibility of Keshishian making a documentary about the pop star. nonetheless, the director has his conditions.
“If you want me to do it well, you will give me full access to everything. That’s how I worked with Madonna,” Keshishian said, but Selena Gomez is not ready to grant his wish.
It took another 6 years and intensive psychotherapy before he called Keshishian again with the news that he could now make the documentary about him as he wanted – and the whole truth about the star that his PR had diligently hidden from the media.
Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me, directed by Keshishian, debuts on November 4 on the streaming service Apple +, and in the narration on the camera, it is clear why the excitement of Selena Gomez of Mexico disappears when she realizes that she must be completely candid in the documentary it. .
It’s not her toxic relationship with Justin Bieber that makes her uncomfortable. Nor his years at Disney. Gomez has been wary of talking about her bipolar disorder and mental health issues that escalated in her early 20s.
“I want to be honest with you – I was in 4 psychiatric centers. I had moments where I can not control my feelings and perceptions, whether they are positive or poor,” Selena told Rolling Stones.
His periods of excitement and melancholy were on rotation for years, but no one around him paid much attention to it. It happened that he was so full of energy that he could not sleep for whole night. He also had phases where he didn’t get the urge to get out of bed.
Friends visit him, they bring him food on a tray in the bedroom, but no one guesses that his condition is serious until 2018. Then the star begins to hear the voice in his head that grows louder and louder, drowning in the world the real beside him.
He was admitted to a psychiatric facility and, due to the hallucinations, was initially diagnosed with psychosis and severe paranoia.
“One of the scariest things about psychosis is that you don’t know when or if it will end. Sometimes it lasts for days, sometimes for weeks, and sometimes for a lifetime,” says Gomez.
After a while of shooting in different directions, the doctors solved another diagnosis – bipolar disorder, explaining the alternating episodes of mania and sadness that hit him without anything that provoked them. After leaving the facility, Gomez found a psychiatrist who prescribed her medication that slowly improved the psychosis until it disappeared completely.
Controlling bipolar disorder, nonetheless, is far more complicated. Selena is on medication that prevents her from carrying one day and breastfeeding her own baby. Watch for worsening symptoms, because if this happens, there is a risk that the psychosis will return.
Shortly before the COVID-19 pandemic, the star visited Stanford University and spoke with lecturers on mental health care, and from them he learned that the few guidelines he has for managing his illness are not known to the public.
But if they are unknown, there is a great risk that they will increase and bring the condition to a stage where psychosis is irreversible. This information changed Gomez’s mind about keeping her mental health a secret, and she decided to open up about her action adjusting to the diagnosis in the documentary Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me.
She realizes that if she continues to remain silent, she will reinforce the stigma and spread myths about bipolar disorder.
“This film is not about me. I’m just the face of the problem. Am I the right person to talk about this? I don’t know. But I hope to help raise awareness about mental health. I hope there is more. discussion, which will benefit from medication to prevent the problem,” Gomez says in his documentary
Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me was released on November 4th at the same time as its first streaming on Apple +. On the red carpet with Selena were Francia Raisa, Camila Caballo, Billie Eilish, Olivia Rodrigo. Taylor Swift, who Gomez says is her only friend in the music industry, told her from a distance that she was proud of her.
“And Kara (model Cara Delevingne notes ed.) brought two undressed because he wanted the press the next day to write that the event was a mixture of sophistication and eroticism,” jokes the scene.
Selena has never seen the movie for herself and doesn’t plan to. A few minutes before the screening begins, he leaves the room and returns when the audience is on its feet.
Part of her therapy requires her not to dwell on her trauma and to stay away from social media. For years, Gomez has not opened any of the main platforms. He gives all the passwords to his assistant, who uploads photos and messages to fans, and devotes himself only to activities that bring him peace.
“Now I’m going through the sunniest period of my life. Nothing compares to the pleasure of being at home, in front of the fireplace, reading a book or watching a series. I believe there is something above me, probably – my bipolar. Chaos, which it keeps me humble. Without it, I would probably be just another empty-headed person who lives to wear beautiful clothes all the time, “said Gomez.
