😏🎬 Imagine a scene from a movie or TV show involving sex between a man and a woman. It is possible that both parties have an orgasm But this does not reflect reality.
This is because, in heterosexual intercourse, women have much less orgasm than men, so called “gap” in the orgasm” — documented in the scientific literature for more than 20 years.
📚🔍 In a study with more than 50 thousand people, 95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always have an orgasm during intercourse, whileonly 65% of heterosexual women they say so.
According to some research, many people believe this difference is because the biology of women’s orgasm is mysterious. nonetheless, if this were true, women’s orgasm rates would not differ according to circumstances. In fact, many studies show that women have more orgasms alone than with a partner.
🤔🔬 At least 92% of women have an orgasm when they pleasure themselves. Women also report more orgasms when having sex in stable relationships compared to casual sex.
In a study of more than 12,000 college students, only 10% of women reported having an orgasm the preceding with a man, while 68% said they have an orgasm when sex happens in a stable relationship.
❤️👩❤️👩Women also have more orgasms when they have sex with other women. In one study, 64% of bisexual women said they usually or always had an orgasm when they had sex with other women.
Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm—which makes sense, since the clitoris and the penis are made of the same type of tissue. And a lot of Both the clitoris and the penis have many nerve endings that are sensitive to touch and erectile tissue.
😊💬 In my work, I have asked thousands of women, “What is your most reliable way to orgasm?”
Just 4% said penetration. The other 96% showed clitoral stimulation, alone or combined with penetration.
The main reason for the difference in orgasm, then, is that women do not get clitoral stimulation who needs
🎥📚 And the cultural message about the supremacy of penetration feeds this. Countless movies, TV shows, books, and plays depict women having orgasms. just with the moment of sexual relations.
Popular men’s magazines also give advice on sex positions to bring women to orgasm. And although some of the positions include clitoral stimulation, the message is still that penetration is the central and most important sexual act.
The words used in these forms of communication—and in the culture at large—reflect and perpetuate this overvaluation of penetration. We relegate the clitoral stimulation that comes before intercourse as a quality “preliminary”suggesting that it is a lesser form of sex.
🤔💡 Several studies show that these messages give the idea that sex should be done this way: preliminary (just to prepare the woman for penetrative sex), intercourse and penetration, male orgasm and finished sex.
In this version of sex, it would be the man’s job to “give” the woman an orgasm by prolonging sex and pushing hard.
🤔🛏️ It’s no wonder that research already shows that men feel more masculine when their partners have orgasms during intercourse and penetration. And it is not surprising that women fake orgasm, especially during this stage of intercourse, to protect their partner’s ego.
Studies suggest this between 53% and 85% of women admit they fake orgasms. Some research indicates that most women have faked an orgasm at least once in their lives.
But there is hope, given the cultural factors responsible for the difference in orgasm. Changing the way we view sex will help improve women’s sexual experiences.
It is important to educate people about the fact that women do not have a limited biological capacity for lust. Likewise, instruction in men and women about the clitoris can be game-changing.
Still, this knowledge alone is not easy to bridge the gap in orgasm on a personal level.
📚💭 According to a sex therapy book, women need the skills to put this knowledge into practice. It means that Women should be encouraged to masturbate to learn what they want sexually. And this needs to be accompanied by communication practices so that they can share this information with their partners.
Women need to feel entitled to pleasure and empowered to find the same kind of excitement alone and with a partner. This means that the Straight couples must get rid of the old foreplay script followed by penetration, after which sex ends.
Instead, couples can have an orgasm with oral sex or manual stimulation, where he can have an orgasm after penetration.
Women can also touch each other with their hands or a vibrator during intercourse.
Research shows that women who use vibrators have more orgasms. And because many women worry about how they look during sex or if they please their partner, another study showed that meditation techniques. attention can help too.
But equality in orgasm can have consequences that go beyond the quality of sex. Several women have told me that once they felt empowered in the bedroom, they became more confident the rest of their lives.
most of all, according to a study, feeling entitled to pleasure increases a woman’s freedom to tell her partner what she wants sexually and to protect herself in sex.
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Pregnant can not have sex? And physical exercise? See myths and truths about pregnancy
The study found that the Feeling entitled to sexual pleasure increases women’s confidence both refused to perform acts they were not comfortable with and used protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
According to another article on sex education written by two US health researchers, when young people learn that sex should be fun, they are less likely to use it in manipulative and dangerous ways.
therefore, teaches that sex is fun for both partners, rather than something women do for men’s pleasure, it can also help reduce the level of sexual violence.
Clearly, teaching women about pleasure will do more than just increase orgasm rates.
*Laurie Mintz is Emeritus Professor of Psychology at the University of Florida, USA
#women #orgasms #men