“Nu o spuneți dacă luați masa într-un mediu în care este evitată; în rest, o puteți folosi fără rețineri,” recommended the French publication Savoir-Vivre, as etiquette specialists clash over whether wishing someone a good appetite violates classic table manners.
While the phrase remains a common politeness across Europe, traditional etiquette guides suggest avoiding it during formal meals and in settings governed by strict classical conventions. The French phrase bon appétit draws objections because it explicitly references basic human physiological needs rather than focusing purely on the social pleasure of sharing a meal and spending time together, adevarul.ro reported.
Nineteenth-century French etiquette manuals also interpreted the greeting as a subtle suggestion that guests might need an unusual appetite to get through the dishes served by their host. Despite these traditional reservations, the rule is far from universal. Even in France, the phrase carries no official ban, and Savoir-Vivre said that correcting a guest who uses the formula is considered far more impolite than uttering the phrase itself.
In Romania, recommendations focus more on the scale of the gathering rather than an outright prohibition of the phrase. Aurelia Marinescu, author of the volume Codul bunelor maniere astăzi, explained that the greeting becomes disruptive at large-scale dinners where simultaneous repetition creates excessive noise.
“Când mesenii sunt numeroşi, nu se urează Poftă bună! Un ecou multiplicat cu douăzeci ar crea un vacarm nejustificat,” Marinescu wrote in her book, as reported by adevarul.ro. She added that guests should wait for the host or hostess to signal the start of a meal by taking the first bite or serving food.
Historical Roots of Table Greetings
Etymology reveals distinct linguistic journeys for the greeting across different languages. In Romanian, the noun poftă derives from Slavic origins, linked to the older form pohtă, signifying desire and appetite, according to etymological dictionaries cited by adevarul.ro. August Scriban recorded the expression as a formula for wishing appetite in his 1939 dictionary, while modern explanatory dictionaries define it as a traditional wish directed at someone about to eat.
In French, the noun appétit stems from the Latin appetitus, meaning desire, with usage tracking back to the thirteenth century. The Dictionnaire historique de la langue française, cited by the Municipal Library of Lyon, notes that the social formula bon appétit dates back to the seventeenth century.
The Académie française dictionary included the phrase in 1835, describing it as a standard wish addressed to anyone preparing to eat.
Evolving Rules Guide Modern Dining Conversation and Posture
Table etiquette extends far beyond pre-meal greetings, encompassing evolving rules regarding conversation, posture, and technology. Traditional restrictions against speaking at the table have given way to modern guidelines that encourage interaction while discouraging talking with a full mouth or engaging in unpleasant arguments.
Modern guidelines also address physical posture and digital devices. Recommendations from the University Nebraska–Lincoln for professional meals urge attendees to silence electronic devices and focus entirely on neighboring guests. Etiquette codes advise avoiding controversial subjects like politics, religion, or personal finances during formal gatherings.
Common Etiquette Questions
Is it ever mandatory to wait for the host before eating?
Yes, traditional etiquette requires guests to wait for the host or hostess to signal the start of the meal, either by taking the first bite or explicitly inviting everyone to begin.
What topics should be avoided at formal dinners?
Professional dining guidelines recommend steering clear of divisive subjects such as religious disputes, political arguments, and personal financial troubles.
How do modern rules treat mobile phones at the table?
University Nebraska–Lincoln guidelines advise participants in professional settings to switch devices to silent mode and keep their attention focused on fellow diners.
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