The Comfort of Soup: How Grief and Stress Reshape Our Relationship with Food
The simple act of eating can become profoundly difficult during times of loss or stress. A recent piece in TODAY.com details one woman’s experience navigating grief after the death of her daughter-in-law, Dayla Espinoza-Bayles, and how turning to a familiar, comforting recipe – broccoli cheddar potato soup – offered a slight measure of solace.
Beyond Grief: The Wider Impact of Emotional Wellbeing on Eating Habits
This experience isn’t unique. Experts recognize a strong connection between emotional state and food choices. Stress and sorrow demonstrably impact our appetites, sometimes leading to increased consumption, other times to a complete loss of interest in food. This isn’t a sign of weakness, but a natural physiological response rooted in our evolutionary history, designed to facilitate us survive challenging times.
The Power of “Comfort Food” and Permission to Prioritize Nourishment
The inclination to seek comfort in familiar foods is a common coping mechanism. It’s not about abandoning healthy eating altogether, but rather shifting the focus from strict dietary rules to basic nourishment. Allowing yourself “random snacks, frozen dinners, yogurt cups, takeout or the same spaghetti dish on paper plates” can be a crucial step in self-care during difficult times. The key is to release the guilt often associated with these choices.
Building a Support System Around Food
Acknowledging the struggle and reaching out for help is vital. Friends and family can offer practical assistance, such as grocery shopping or meal preparation. A meal train, where different people contribute meals on a rotating basis, can alleviate the burden of cooking when energy is low.
Re-Engaging with Food: A Path Towards Healing
When ready, gently reintroduce mindful eating. Choosing something nourishing and enjoyable, and savoring the experience, can be a powerful step in the healing process. As one woman found, recreating a loved one’s favorite dish can be a particularly meaningful way to honor their memory and find comfort.
Dayla’s Broccoli Cheddar Potato Soup
Makes 4 entree servings
Ingredients
- 1 medium yellow onion, diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 teaspoons butter or olive oil
- 2 cups chicken or vegetable broth (or broth concentrate + water to make 2 cups)
- 1 cup water
- 3-4 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into large chunks (about 4 cups)
- 2-3 cups finely diced or grated green cabbage
- 2 medium carrots, peeled and diced
- 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon onion powder, optional
- 1 cup grated cheddar cheese
- 2 cups frozen broccoli or cauliflower florets, or a mix, thawed and chopped
- 2 ounces Neufchatel or cream cheese
- 4 links chicken sausage, sliced and browned (optional)
Preparation
- In a pressure cooker on the saute setting, cook onion and garlic in butter or oil just until starting to turn soft, 3 to 4 minutes.
- Add broth, water, vegetables and seasonings. Switch to pressure cook setting, seal, and set for 5 minutes with a quick release.
- Stir in cheddar cheese and broccoli and/or cauliflower to heat through.
- Press Neufchael or cream cheese into the blades of an immersion blender and pulse just a few times until This proves blended in well and a few of the potatoes are broken down to thicken the soup. Correct seasoning if needed.
- Top with sausage, if desired, and serve hot.
If you need assistance in dealing with grief, help is available. Visit the SAMHSA page for grief resources, or seek support through organizations like GriefShare. If you want to know more about what Dayla was like, you can read a remarkable post of hers here: 25 things she learned by age 25.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Is it okay to eat unhealthy foods when I’m stressed?
A: Yes. Prioritizing nourishment, even if it’s not “perfect,” is more critical than adhering to strict dietary rules during times of stress or grief.
Q: How can I secure help with meal preparation when I’m overwhelmed?
A: Ask friends and family for assistance, or consider organizing a meal train.
Q: What if I don’t feel like cooking at all?
A: Don’t wait to eat until you feel like it. Focus on simply nourishing your body, even if it means relying on simple or pre-made foods.
