In an era where birth rates are plummeting globally and “helicopter parenting” has become the norm, a Johor-based couple is turning heads by doing the exact opposite. Ye Kaijie, 39, and He Yiling, 38, are raising seven children—some already in university—using a blend of strict routine, digital minimalism, and a radical commitment to leading by example.
While their family size is an outlier, the philosophies they employ reflect a growing global trend: a shift toward intentional parenting. By prioritizing autonomy over authority and modeling behavior over mandates, the couple is providing a blueprint for how families can navigate the complexities of the 21st century without losing their grip on traditional values.
The Death of the “Because I Said So” Era
For decades, parenting in many Asian households relied on punitive measures—scolding or caning—to ensure obedience. However, Kaijie and Yiling, both educators who run a kindergarten with special education classes, have opted for a different path. They believe in the power of mirroring: if parents want their children to be patient, kind, and disciplined, they must embody those traits first.
This move toward positive reinforcement is part of a larger psychological shift. Research suggests that children who are guided through example and logical consequences, rather than fear, develop higher emotional intelligence (EQ) and better problem-solving skills.
Digital Minimalism: The New Status Symbol
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of the couple’s regime is their stance on technology. In a world where tablets are often used as “digital pacifiers,” the Ye family restricts personal phone ownership until age 10, and even then, only for educational purposes.
We are seeing a rising trend of digital boundaries as parents realize the impact of early screen exposure on attention spans and social development. By removing phones from the dinner table and common areas, Kaijie and Yiling are fostering deep-work capabilities and genuine interpersonal connection—skills that are becoming increasingly rare in the Gen Alpha generation.
Cultivating “Micro-Independence” from Age Two
One of the most striking elements of the Ye household is the delegation of responsibility. From folding socks at age two to managing laundry and cooking as they grow, the children are treated as active contributors to the household rather than passive dependents.
This approach aligns with the concept of competence-based parenting. By modifying their environment—such as lowering shower heads and switches—Kaijie ensures that his children aren’t just “helping” but are capable of performing tasks independently. This builds a sense of agency and self-efficacy that is critical for mental health in adolescence.
The “Pet Responsibility” Hack
To further cement this sense of duty, each child is given a pet rabbit. This isn’t just about companionship; it’s a lesson in empathy and reliability. When a child is solely responsible for another living creature’s wellbeing, the lesson in accountability is far more potent than any lecture.
The Economics of the Modern Large Family
Raising seven children in today’s economy is a bold move. In Malaysia, the cost of living varies wildly by region. Data indicates that raising a family in the Klang Valley is significantly more expensive than in cities like Alor Setar, with monthly budgets for a family of four often exceeding RM6,000.
The trend moving forward may see a “rural migration” for families who prioritize size and space over urban convenience. As the cost of living rises, the “village” mentality—where older siblings help raise younger ones—becomes an economic and emotional necessity. In the Ye family, the older children’s roles as mentors to their siblings create a built-in support system that reduces the burden on the parents.
Expert Answer: It’s never too late. Start with “Tech-Free Zones” (like the dining table) and gradually transition to “Tech-Free Hours.” Focus on replacing the screen with a high-engagement activity.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can these parenting methods work for only children?
Absolutely. While large families have built-in social dynamics, the principles of leading by example, setting digital boundaries, and encouraging early independence are universal and beneficial for any child.
What is the “Wait Until 8th” movement?
It is a global trend where parents pledge not to give their children smartphones until at least the end of 8th grade to protect their mental health and social development, mirroring the boundaries set by the Ye family.
How do I teach a toddler to do chores without it becoming a struggle?
Make it a game. Use “gamification” by giving them a special “job” and praising the effort rather than the result. The goal at age two is exposure and habit, not perfection.
What’s your parenting philosophy?
Do you believe in strict routines, or do you prefer a more flexible approach? Would you be brave enough to delay smartphones until age 10? Let us know in the comments below or share this article with a fellow parent!
