Dealing with a child’s meltdown generates higher real-time stress for parents than an air traffic controller managing a near miss, according to studies.
Parents share genetic traits with neurodivergent children
Most neurodivergent children share genetic traits with an undiagnosed or diagnosed parent, as autism, ADHD, and dyslexia are genetic and hereditary conditions. Anonymous surveys conducted by Sharry during “parenting exceptional children” courses show that 79 per cent of attending parents say they are or think they might be neurodivergent, while 85 per cent think the other parent might be.
Many neurodistinct children dislike diagnostic labels because the terms make them feel different in the family or sidelined. Sharing personal neurodivergence or similar processing traits with children helps them feel more connected and included in the family. For example, a father acknowledging his own ADHD or a mother admitting to specific sensory preferences helps children feel more bonded in the family.
Recognizing family neurodivergence helps parents resolve conflicts
Recognizing family neurodivergence helps parents understand conflicts and challenges as they arise. An autistic mother requiring a quiet evening routine often struggles with an active, high-energy ADHD son who needs physical activity and chatting time. Similarly, a social ADHD father may find it frustrating when his autistic daughter is stressed and overwhelmed during family social events.
A case study involved a father initially critical of his school-struggling son, believing the boy simply needed to “knuckle down” and apply himself. After exploring his own background, the father recalled dropping out of school with a lifelong feeling he had “failed”. Realizing he might also have ADHD transformed his view of both himself and his son, shifting his focus to ensuring his son’s wellbeing and securing better supports in school, and bonding over outdoor pursuits like biking.
Identifying Individual Sensory Preferences
Parents must identify their individual sensory needs to avoid overstressing themselves to the extent they can no longer meet anyone’s needs. Sensory profiles vary significantly between individuals; one parent might prefer to work in silence, while another prefers background noise. Similarly, needing a clean, ordered house to feel relaxed or preferring some “mess” with everything in sight impacts different parents.
Frequently Asked Questions on Family Neurodivergence
What percentage of parents on parenting courses suspect they are neurodivergent?
Anonymous surveys from John Sharry’s “parenting exceptional children” courses indicate that 79 per cent of parents say they are or think they might be neurodivergent, and 85 per cent think the other parent might be.
When is John Sharry running his upcoming ADHD workshop and parenting course?
John Sharry is scheduled to run a workshop on Motivating ADHD Children on November 4th, followed by a Parenting Exceptional Children course starting on November 10th.
How do neurodivergent children often feel about their diagnostic labels?
Many neurodivergent children dislike their diagnoses because the terminology makes them feel different in the family and sidelined as “the autistic or ADHD one.”
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