► Ile-de-France Psychology Unit: “Confined, I no longer recognize the one I married …”
At the start of the afternoon, Annie picks up her phone because anxiety is eating her away. “I’ve been retired for a few weeks, she says. In the space of two months, I went from days where I worked 8 hours a day to this situation of confinement alongside my depressed husband. He has been treated for years. Meeting me around the clock is complicated. I no longer recognize the man I married. “
Next call. Sonia feels a big void. “I am alone in my apartment and I understand that I don’t know anyone anymore. I only worked, she explains. Whose news is it from? “
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Raffaela Cucciniello answers. This psychologist co-hosts the network of listeners of the Psy Ile-de-France call number, ordered by the Regional Health Agency to support the relatives of patients suffering from mental disorders. For everyone, containment has brought about “Of very deep existential questions, she testifies, which is not always easy to answer. ” This toll-free number could be made permanent after deconfinement, according to Doctor Raphaël Gourevitch, head of psychiatric emergencies in Sainte-Anne.
► Listen to family news of Apprentis d’Auteuil: “I think I’m going to stick it against the wall”
Another line, same distress. Corinne called the government’s toll-free number, which redirected her to the Apprentis d’Auteuil family information line. This forties tells the story “Burnout” who is watching. ” I can not stand it anymore. My husband and I are telecommuting. I also have to take care of my three children. The eldest is in middle school but I have to help the other two, in elementary school, with their homework. I find myself managing everything: work, meals, homework. I am caught 24 hours a day! “, she explodes. At the end of the phone, Marie-Pierre Francis tries to appease him. ” Take a break. Do you go out for an hour a day for a walk in the neighborhood? You have the right, you know. “
16 hours. Christophe’s voice trembles. “I think I’m going to stick it against the wall. “ The divorced father is confined with his 16-year-old son, who usually lives with his mother. “He doesn’t care, he’s cheeky, rude. Normal, my ex passes everything to him “, coward Christophe. For 45 minutes, he pours out a torrent of words which combine sorrow, regrets, rage also against his divorce, his own story. The listener cashes in and then ends up asking if there is really nothing this son can do. “If of course, it has nice sides”, agrees Christophe. In small touches, the professional then suggests to value these good sides. Above all, it gives the direct number for Family Info Listening ” in case “, as well as that of the nearest child welfare office.
► Catholic listening cell: “Am I not going to go to hell? “
Chantal, member of the chaplaincy of a hospital grouping in central France, has just started this Thursday her permanence for the toll-free number set up by the episcopate and the Conference of men and women religious of France. At the other end of the line is a woman with a sad voice. She can only see her 96-year-old mother for ten minutes every other day at an Ehpad window. ” It’s very, very hard She sighs, asking if a chaplain could come and see her. Chantal gives her the coordinates of the local chaplaincies.
Visibly happy with this suggestion, the woman confides more: I sometimes read the Gospel to Mom, but I am unprofessional. “” But it’s already a lot that you can share your faith, encourages Chantal. But maybe you also call a little for yourself. It’s probably not easy to have your mother in a nursing home… Are you an only child? The woman has a brother who is not very present. “ I feel guilty for placing Mom in Ehpad. This is not what I would have liked. “
Another call from a woman, mother of a 23-year-old disabled son, placed in an institution. ” I haven’t been able to go see him since the confinement. I call him regularly, but what does he understand about the situation? “This woman opens up more about her son:” I am alone to assume it, his father could not bear to take care of it, he was mistreating with his son … We are in the process of divorce. But with containment, everything is stopped ” Chantal gives her the number of a local relay and suggests that she pray together.
It is also on Thursday that Marie-Claire holds her permanence for the toll-free number of CEF-Corref. A man calls, in great dismay at the confinement : “It’s too hard, it’s too long, I’m not made for that, I need to hear someone “, He launches, before wondering:” What is the use of praying, practicing every Sunday as I was taught during my childhood ? I know God is love but I don’t feel anything “He continues, acknowledging that he” calls everything into question “
Geneviève, mother and grandmother, belongs to a listening network in her city and joined that of the 280 listeners of the Catholic Church. One evening during Holy Week, an elderly lady, sobs in her voice, told her that she was afraid. ” I will not be able to meet a priest to confess before Easter or to do the Chemin de croix, when I’ve always done it like that. Am I not going to go to hell? “
► Protestant listening cell: “It’s been a week since I last formulated a sentence …”
The voice is quavering in the handset. “My 82-year-old husband just died from Covid-19. I feel so alone after 57 years of marriage… I hardly see anyone, apart from my son who comes to drop off some groceries in the evening, wrapped in his protective gear ”. Miles away, the reformed pastor Jean-Louis Massot, hospital chaplain in Poitiers (Vienne) and listening to the cell of the Federation Protestante de France (FPF), searches for the right words. At the end of the line, the lady is gradually revealed: “I was born into a Catholic family, but I strayed from the faith because of all the speeches heard, child, on hell, the devil, sin …” The chaplain offered to entrust her to God, and to recite an Our Father.
Many callers report immense loneliness. “Hello, is that the Protestant Church? Can i talk to you? It’s been a week since I last formulated a sentence … ” This time, it is Pastor Brice Deymié, national chaplain of the prisons of the FPF, who picks up. The interlocutor, in his fifties, has a great need to speak but does not really know where to start. Gently, the pastor leads him to tell about his daily life: “You see, every morning, I do these little morning rituals … Here, I open my shutters”, he begins to describe. At other times, there is silence …
While the detainees are denied visits, the latter coordinates the Protestant “hotline” established on April 27 in the prisons. “This morning, I got up, I waited for breakfast … I’m here, I am waiting, and time is passing even more slowly than usual”, tells him a prisoner. Brice Deymié takes the time to comfort him: he feels that the individual, probably without family, is looking for “Listening in a peaceful voice, outside that of the supervisors.”
► Muslim cell: “I found my patient, Muslim, dead at his home …”
Like the other “hotlines”, the French Council for Muslim Worship (CFCM) system was set up to respond, 24 hours a day, to the needs and questions of the confined. Many relate to mortuary cleansing, the repatriation of bodies, or the burial of the deceased in denominational squares.
“I’m a liberal nurse, I just went to a Muslim patient’s house and I found him dead. I am not a Muslim myself, but I am calling you because this man has no family, what should I do? “ Febrile, the young nurse, visiting Seyne-sur-Mer (Var), needs a pragmatic response. “You must call our regional office, they can guide you to find solutions for the burial”, redirects the listener Fathia El Moumni, chaplain of hospitals in the Occitania region: “All the families and loved ones in mourning, we must tell them how much we are there for them …”
► Jewish listening cell: “Why did he die? “
At two in the morning, the voice of a man, married and father, resounds in the earpiece: “My father, 82, died of the coronavirus. My mother also caught her, she is hospitalized but saved … I don’t know what to do for my father’s body. Mr. Rabbi, my father was someone very pious, diligent in the synagogue, why did he die? “
In the middle of the night, Bruno Fiszon, chief rabbi of Metz (Moselle) and hospital chaplain, first advises him on the funeral. But a few days later, the two men remember. “God takes back even the best. We must remain in the hope of eternal life “, he sees himself answering him, convinced by hanging up that the “This man’s traditional faith will allow him to overcome the ordeal.”