Lolita (22) has cared for her father, Khuseyn (62), since she was 16 and he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, becoming one of 168,722 Flemish youths balancing caregiving with their own lives. “Vroeger was ik vaak kwaad, ook op papa. Nu weet ik dat hij er niks aan kan doen,” she said, describing the emotional toll of six years of round-the-clock support.
Young caregivers face rising challenges
Lolita’s situation reflects a growing trend in Flanders, where 168,722 young people provide care for chronically ill or disabled family members. The number has increased, according to Steunpunt Mantelzorg, a organization that highlights the strain on youth like Lolita. “Flexibiliteit bestaat nu niet meer in mijn leven,” she said, explaining her schedule is dictated by her father’s needs, including help with eating, dressing, and toileting.
Her mother, 60, left work to assist full-time, while her brother, 24, also contributes. “Zij offerde het meeste op,” Lolita said of her mother, who she described as “het moeilijkst van ons allemaal” but “toont het minst” in showing hardship. The family has struggled to find institutional support, with day-care centers citing long waitlists and concerns about Khuseyn’s aggression.
Impact on education and future plans
Lolita, who studies marketing and communication, is considering pausing her studies to work remotely, a shift she says would better align with her caregiving responsibilities. “Ik denk eraan om mijn studies te stoppen, zo kan ik voor thuiswerk kiezen,” she said. She also enrolled in a second program in social work but fears she may not graduate due to time constraints.
“Mijn leven ziet er compleet anders uit,” she said, reflecting on how her youth was shaped by caregiving rather than typical teenage experiences. “Ik heb veel meer moeten opgeven dan je van een tiener mag verwachten.” Despite the challenges, she emphasized her commitment: “Ik ben van plan dit voor mijn ouders te blijven doen.”
Did You Know? Over 168,000 Flemish youth provide care for a family member with a long-term illness or disability, a number that has been rising.
What’s next for young caregivers?
Neurologists warn that Khuseyn’s condition could persist for years, meaning Lolita’s caregiving role is likely to continue. “Deze fase kan nog jaren duren,” a doctor noted, emphasizing the long-term nature of Alzheimer’s care. For Lolita, this means prioritizing daily survival over personal aspirations. “Ik bekijk het dag per dag,” she said, acknowledging the uncertainty of her future.
Despite the strain, she finds moments of connection. “Af en toe krijg ik onverwacht een kus,” she said, describing rare instances where her father shows affection. These small gestures, she said, help her reconcile the sacrifices she has made.
How many Flemish youth are caregivers?
How many Flemish youth are caregivers for a family member with a long-term illness or disability?
There are 168,722 Flemish youths in this situation, according to data cited in Lolita’s account.
What challenges does Lolita face as a caregiver?
Lolita balances caregiving with studies, faces her father’s aggression, and lacks institutional support. She also struggles with limited personal freedom and the emotional toll of caring for someone who cannot express gratitude.
What is the neurologist’s prognosis for Lolita’s father?
A neurologist warned that Khuseyn’s condition could last for years, indicating that Lolita’s caregiving role is likely to continue for an extended period.
How do young caregivers like Lolita balance personal responsibilities and societal expectations?
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