Tuesday, 11 Dec 2018

Miss Manners: A Rude Remarks Raises A Casual Reaction At A Cocktail Party

Dear Miss Manners, I share a name with a prominent politician and I recently attended a cocktail party for my husband's office. When I introduced the wife of one of her colleagues, hearing my name, she scrunched her nose and said, "Ugh! Oh nooooo, I wear this name. think when I hear that name is [politician]. "

I looked shocked for a moment, then said, "Well, I guess we can not be friends. Damn. Then shot and left.

Other colleagues think that this will eventually come back to bite my husband. He does not care a bit. What should I have said?

What you said was not the problem. It's more the way you said it, and the sudden change that follows, that may have implications in the future.

How lucky you have a husband who found it charming. Miss Manners hopes that her loyalty – or disinterest, as the case may be, will continue for any future career. She however recommends that none of you consider politics.

Dear Miss Manners, My son and his future wife decided to organize their wedding and reception with "no children", with the exception of his nephews and nieces. We are a very big family, so it's difficult, even if we come to accept it.

Now, for the shower that I plan for them, they said that they only wanted "women". Well, it eliminates all men and single cousins. And some of the older women will not be able to come because their husband is their driver. Some of the new moms are not sure to attend, because who will watch the kids?

What is the bride's weight in the upcoming shower? I have the impression that my family is slowly excluded. Or should I keep quiet and be happy that at least I am invited to the wedding?

This bride would definitely Do you think so? The fact that she wants to exclude children is problematic because the guests will see all these nephews and nieces and will not necessarily check their lineages.

It is just as unofficial to say that she wants the only dictatorship about the people who come to take a shower that you are organizing (or, more likely, have been invited to host) without practical considerations for her guests. Although this is not a tradition that Miss Manners agrees with, she assumes that the bride assumes that "women only" are traditional for showers. But traditionally, showers are never given by members of the family, nor by those who will be.

You can politely emphasize the many disadvantages these exclusions pose to guests. Or, if it has no effect, maybe the idea of ​​receiving fewer gifts will be.

Dear Miss Manners, In planning my mother's 80th birthday celebrations, I thought it would be nice if her husband, each of her children, her siblings and her best friend (75 years old!) Wear bodices / buttonholes.

The mother, of course, would be a little bigger than the others. Would all this be appropriate?

Only if your mother approved. Although it is a well-intentioned gesture, it is at most redundant to identify the key players in identifying the foliage. Presumably, most of your guests – and hopefully your mother – will know who they are. But if you and she would like it, Miss Manners will not oppose anyone and her greenery.

The new columns of Miss Manners are posted from Monday to Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com.

2018, by Judith Martin


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