Tanel Jäppinen is a certified parenting mentor (Jai Institute of Parenting, San Diego, USA), host of the podcast Peaceful Parenting aimed at parents and creator of the popular Facebook group of the same name, which today has more than 28,000 members. Tanel also shares helpful tips for parents on her Instagram account.
In October last year, a much-needed and long-awaited book by parents was published by him “How to create a reliable and strong relationship with a child”, which opens the door to the depth of the bond between parent and child. The book contains both theory and many real-life examples for parents of toddlers and teenagers.
Although Tanel is mainly known in the context of parenting and family relationships, among the following reading recommendations you will also find many other interesting topics that the author is interested in in one way or another. Tanel also reveals more about what kind of reader he is and what kind of literature he prefers at the moment.
What kind of reader am I?
The older I get, the more I’ve learned to appreciate books. Although, even now, I have several fiction series on the “waiting list” (for example the Frank Herbert one “Yesterday”), so at this stage in my life I rarely read fiction. However, when I choose fiction, it is usually of the fantasy genre. Most of the time I read these books in a relatively short time and often do so in the evening while I’m in bed. I also sometimes listen to fiction as an audiobook while driving, but in this case mostly in English. Most recently, I listened to the 1,000+ page (53 hour) audiobook “Shogun” (also published in Estonian), by James Clavell.
However, many of the books I’m reading fall into the personal development, relationship, or parenting categories. Since I also lead a book club for peaceful parents, I read these books with great concentration. Most of the time I do this in the office and also keep a notebook aside where I occasionally jot down important reminders, insights or connections. Furthermore, it is not uncommon for me to tackle several books written on the same topic to let the insights I gain intertwine in my head. Whether it’s getting rid of the influence of smart devices, managing anxiety, staying together in a relationship, or reading a parenting book.
1. “12 Rules of the Game of Life” Jordan Peterson
I received this book as a gift from my good friend. It offers practical and philosophical advice for real life and real life challenges. While I don’t agree with all of Jordan Peterson’s thoughts, I love his ability to combine psychology and history to offer profound reflections on personal responsibility, finding meaning, and living life better. I believe it will be a useful read for anyone who wants to lead their lives (and that of their children) according to clearer and more meaningful principles.
2. “Discipline Without Drama” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson are some of my favorite parenting authors. I read “Dramaless Discipline” in English as soon as it came out and was pleasantly surprised when it was soon translated into Estonian. The authors of this book explain how an empathetic and understanding attitude helps children develop self-management, self-regulation and problem-solving skills. It is perfect for parents who want to raise their children in a positive and supportive environment.
3. “Dopamine Addicts” Dr. Anna Lembke
I had already purchased this book in English a long time ago, and it’s nice to see that it is now available in Estonian too. Although “Dopamine Addicts” talks about various temptations that plague us today, including mental poisons, food, news, gambling, shopping, I personally got this book because of the temptations of smart devices, social media and the digital world. Addicted to Dopamine is essential reading for anyone who wants to understand and reduce the impact of technology on their own mental health and that of their children. The book explains in understandable language how the brain reacts to digital overload and offers practical solutions to cope with these challenges.
4. “The Handbook of Enduring Love” Harville Hendrix, PhD
I haven’t gotten around to reading this book yet, but after reading Hendrix’s “Journey to the Love You Want” and “The Simple Truths of Marriage,” I immediately added this new book to my list of books waiting to be read, and so they dare to recommend it to other couples who want intimacy in their relationship and maintain intimacy. The quality of a relationship greatly influences parenting as well as all other areas of our lives, and Hendrix’s books always offer good reminders and new insights about empathy, communication, and how to sustain love.
5. “The Lord of the Rings Trilogy” by JRR Tolkien
“Fellowship of the Ring”
“Two songs”
“Return of the King”
Tolkien’s fantasy epic series are extremely close to my heart, as they were the first books I read outside of school when I was in school. Later, as an adult, I returned to it many times when I wanted a break from the “real world” for one reason or another. In addition to the fascinating story, there is a lot to learn about responsibility, friendship, and courage, and I can’t wait until my children are old enough to share this world with them.
6. “Dance of fear. How to Overcome Anxiety, Fear, and Shame” by Harriet Lerner, PhD
7. “Jess, People” Merilin Mandel
8. “The charm of imperfection” by Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani
9. “Textbook on how to get rich” Jaak Roosaare
10. “Tobias and another B” Piret Raud
One of our children is in second grade and during the break we decided to make this book together. It is written simply enough for a child just learning to read to read independently, while the story is engaging enough to be exciting for a parent too. The book is quite entertaining and the stories are so relevant to today’s children that you can discuss these topics with your child long after you put the book down.
2023-12-31 22:01:24
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