“When it comes to the birth of triplets, the beginning of their life was really very fragile. In fact, from the moment we found out that we would have three children at the same time, the doctor even gave specific recommendations that this was nothing new for us So I advise you to go immediately and surprise your loved ones, because there is a very high probability that these children will be born, because triplet pregnancy is extremely risky”, Kadri recalled.
“Unfortunately, nature can decide that they are born too early, so that they have no chance of life. If they were born at the 29th week of pregnancy, this prematurity was not unexpected for us. If families often welcome a premature baby unexpectedly, then in case of multiple births, this is expected,” Kadri explained.
While it wasn’t a surprise, you still can’t prepare for all that awaits when babies are born several weeks early. “Will all three of us go home from here? What does the future hold? Is there longer, more permanent health damage like this?” she explained Kadri’s thoughts and added that the first few years were emotionally fragile.
Although Kadri was sure that the doctors would do their best, he greatly missed someone who could simply listen to him and talk to him in a difficult time.
“12 years ago there were no support networks that exist today: communities of premature babies, expert consultants in hospitals. I knew and had heard about the fact that babies are born prematurely, but I didn’t know what that meant. Maybe do a little research and get this information from the vastness of the Internet. You read stories that are not always good and have a happy ending. You’re actually marinating there with all this and thinking about how things are going for us,” Kadri said.
Kadri also pointed out that when three babies are born prematurely, each one is actually a different story. “They had different days. If one day everyone was well, the next day someone could be ill and need urgent intervention on some problem. There were also very fragile moments, critical moments. For me, the most beautiful word that I heard during the day in the hospital was the fact that today everything is stable”, said Kadri.
“You want to hear that it’s good, but I haven’t heard that word very often, because it’s very optimistic. Stable still sounds like a mediocre rating, doesn’t it. But in the hospital you also learn this medical specialty, that it is actually a positive rating of the child by the doctor. So these promises cannot be made. And neither can the hospital staff,” Kadri said.
The premature birth of children is also a great test for the couple’s relationship, especially at the time when Kadri gave birth, because then there was no possibility that the father would also be in hospital and the family would remain together. “Today hospitals have family rooms where families can be together. Other children in the family can also come closer. We didn’t have this opportunity. /…/ Dad’s routine had to continue. He was separated from us, worried. Could he come to find me, but I didn’t actually see what he went through.
In addition to the father, the grandparents and the rest of the family are also left without information and alone with their worries, in which case the mother must make sure that everyone is informed and believes for everyone. “This is where the responsibility lies with the parents, that we must not lose faith in any way. Even if we have very courageous moments. Because what else will others do? Then I have to start supporting them and comforting them. /.. ./ Actually even the relatives don’t know how to deal with the situation. They don’t know how to support the family. They’re afraid of saying something inappropriate and they don’t know what will happen to the children. There’s a lot of fragility that you don’t even think about,” Kadri explained.
With his personal triple experience, Kadri himself found himself in a similar situation for years, listened to the families and shared what he experienced. Again to give that much needed hope. “When I think about these conversations, I can tell they need that example of survival. No one can say what the future holds. These stories are so different. I can’t go and keep that promise that everything will be okay. But I can be an example for those who have experienced it,” Kadri said.
While it is said that premature babies are accompanied by a lot of worries and anguish, Kadri, a mother of five, also found a lot of joy in the journey with her children. “I remember there was a lot of competition with the first child. I was a young mother with the first child and there is a lot of comparison between young mothers. You feel that there are a lot of expectations for your child to develop quickly. / …/ The interesting thing with the twins is that you didn’t expect anything. I’m just happy with everything that came. I don’t know when they started teething, I don’t have anything written down. I just know that I was happy with everything that happened,” Kadri said.
“It actually makes me very happy that they’re healthy. They’re athletic, they’re good, they’re social, they’re happy. I’m really happy every day. Even when I have these natural moments of anger and those moments where I can’t take it anymore, understanding will come very quickly: Kadri, everything is fine.”
2023-12-26 13:58:00
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